"Habemus Papum!"

Well, you do anyway. Some of you, at least. I count myself among the 5.8 billion who are not members the Catholic flock. But, still, the whole idea of the Pope kind of fascinates me: the ritual, the pomp, the circumstance, the smoke, the Pope-mobile, etc. Protestants don't get a pope. Muslims don't get a pope. Mormons don't get a pope. Just the Catholics. They're special that way.

Now the last guy, Benedict (who isn't even dead!), creeped me out a little, I have too admit, with his (albeit quite distant) Nazi affiliation, his seeming obsession with formality, his shifty eyes, and maybe most of all, the fact that he was (I mean "is" -- he's still alive!), a spitting image of the Emperor from Star Wars. (I learned of this via popular internet meme, not being hip enough about pop culture to have made the connection myself, and, also, not giving a rat's ass about Star Wars. Or Pope Benedict.)

But anyway, this new guy. He seems a different. I've seen pictures of him smiling, for instance. He has a kind-looking face. He's a Jesuit (one of "God's Marine's," I've heard they are called -- how cool is that?). He seems to have taken his vow poverty (is this an actual vow, by the way?), pretty seriously. Apparently, he lived in a modest apartment, took a bus to work, washed the feet of AIDS victims and drug addicts, prayed with prostitutes. I don't know about you, but all that stuff seems cool as hell to me. You know, like this guy actually does the "good" church stuff, rather than simply trying to accumulate all the gold in the world and molesting every single boy they haven't gotten to yet.

He gave himself the Pope-name "Francis," which I like, too. And not after Frank Sinatra either, but Saint Francis of Assisi, another one of the "good guys" in the Catholic Church. When he (the new Pope, I mean) delivered his acceptance speech (homily? sermon?), he spoke in Italian (the "common" language), rather than Latin (the "hoity toity" language). Pretty innovative. You know, like Dante, only 500 years later. I've read that his speech was not prepared, just something he came up with on the spot, and that it was only ten minutes long. Which is why there will never be a North American pope. A North American pope would ramble on for hours, reading off a teleprompter and boring everyone to death.

Is Pope Francis infallible? Of course not. There have been reports of some sort of "torture scandal" in Argentina 10 or 15 years ago, (like there isn't a continuous and on-going "torture scandal" in Argentina), but his alleged involvement seems vague and unsubstantiated (so far). It doesn't look like this story has much traction. He just seems like a kind old man, and although one can never be sure, he really doesn't look like a child molester. At least not to me.

So anyway, for whatever it's worth, thumbs up for the new Pope. Not sure how to say that in Latin.